Disappointing Day

You ever tell yourself you are going to be really efficient and get a lot done in a small amount of time?

Yeah.

Me too.

Unfortunately, I tell myself that the night before and wake up the next day extremely tired.

I'm so disappointed in myself when I don't accomplish everything I told myself I would.

Oh well... that's why I'm a night owl I guess...

New Beginnings, Still To Come

Today I ventured to Arlington with my good friends Patrick and Carlos.

Saw UTA. Took some pics. Bought some film. Ate dinner with my parents. Laughed a lot.

It was an overall fantastic day.

And, as I sit here with heavy eyes and a tired body, I realize that I am making the right decisions in my life.

For once.

I'm going where I'm led, and I couldn't be more excited.

Tomorrow will be full of work, but I'm ready to face it and conquer it.

P.S.

Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah! Roma-Roma-ma-ah! Ga-ga-ooh-la-la!

Bruce Almighty

Last night I got to sleep a little easier than I have been for the past several days.

My sleep yielded little rest however.

This project is getting in my head more than I thought it would.

I had a dream that I was in a mall with my parents. I was dying of thirst and they wouldn't give me a chance to stop and buy a drink until right before we were leaving. We were walking out to the car when I stopped to tie my shoe. When I stood up, Morgan Freeman was standing there dressed in something akin to a mall cop uniform. I knew who he was, but didn't make a big deal about it. I greeted him like old friends might say hi. I started to explain to him that my parents were gonna leave me (in a joking manner) and he put his hand on my shoulder. I thought it was a comforting gesture until I started to try and walk toward the car and he wouldn't let go. He pulled me backwards toward him and pulled out a large knife and held it to my neck. He started pushing me in-between a line of cars as if to try and make me get in one. I grabbed his arm and spun around backwards, slamming the knife out of his hand against a van. Pushing him to the ground, I proceeded to try and choke him to death. Someone found me and pulled me off of him though.

I woke up for a brief moment. Clock blared an annoying 3:15 a.m. at me.

I fell back asleep.

I was back in the dream. We had gone inside the mall again to a store we had visited earlier. I was red with angry tears and my mom was standing in a back hallway with me while someone who worked there rifled through some papers on a desk in a room where the door was open. No one else seemed to think what had happened was a big deal. Then, Morgan came around the corner. Now, taking into account that everyone knows Morgan Freeman is a respectable black man, his skin had lightened in this scene to make it look as though he had pink handprints around his throat from where I had tried to subdue him earlier. By this time, he had turned into a completely different person. He was like a crazed animal. He was accompanied by real mall cops and they led him past me and my mom to a room at the end of the hall. When they opened the door, there was a bed inside. They set him down on the bed and left without cuffing him to anything and left the door open. He peered around the corner of the framing and stared at me in a creepy, almost crazed stalker sort of way. Then I almost killed him again.

When I woke up this morning, I just thought to myself 'Wow, another weird dream to add to my dream journal...'

But as I was sitting in my New Testament class today, it dawned on me why it was Morgan Freeman.

Have you ever seen Bruce Almighty?

Yeah... Morgan Freeman plays God.

God tried to kill me.

But, after some consideration on this idea, I decided that it was the worldly portrayal of God.

Not God God.

The world doesn't think I am respecting God.

So the worldly God is what I got in my dream.

Another instance of symbolism ruling my life.

I dream too much...

Thoughts?

~Pubblichi~

So, I had a class in Dallas this evening, and it was well worth going. This is possibly the best class I have ever taken and this was only our second session.

Anyway, it has been raining on and off all day in the greater portion of Texas.

This evening was no different.

I'm starting to think that God actually might be mad at me for this.

First of all, someone has removed all the reflector plates on I-30 between Dallas and Rockwall. Just sayin'.

Then, I hydroplaned a good 8 or 9 times and lost control of my car a few of them.

Luckily I didn't over correct or anything... just slowed down even more.

That was the longest hour of driving in my entire adult life.

What am I going to do?

Here's One For The Church Kids

So, for the majority of the day I've been sewing together a bunch of paper in an attempt to make an excuse for fabric.

For some reason, I'm slightly conflicted about the situation.

For, you see, the paper is from a bible I ripped to pieces.

I've been getting different reactions since I started this project last Wednesday. Some people think it's pretty cool, and then some people tell me I am going to be smited at any moment.

These are my choices of things to do right now:

1. Continue sewing my paper dress together
2. Study for my quiz tomorrow in my New Testament class

I'm not gonna lie... I'd much rather continue working on my dress.

Is it because I'm a damned sinner?

Do I hate God and this is my way of showing the world?

No.

No, I don't hate God.

In fact, this project is about the symbolism of Christ.

I'm doing this as my way of worship.

God said to not make idols for ourselves. And to some, the fact that I am constructing a garment out of His own words is brimming with sacrilege.

This is not my idol.

I'm an art kid. I think of stuff in a way that some would consider to be slightly off center.

And, honestly, I don't care.

Everything on the planet is up for people's judgement. This is why people listen to certain types of music, watch certain types of movies, read certain books, and, yes, even believe certain things over others.

If I wanted everyone's approval, I would never do anything.

My goal in life is not to please you.

My goal is to make you think.

If something I do makes you angry or upset, ask yourself why it is doing so.

Is it me personally?

Or is it something else? Is it something deep within you?

Please understand that I do not set out to make you upset either.

I don't do things just to stir up controversy. I leave that to Hollywood.

Anyway, that is my conflict currently.

Am I a bad person because I believe in symbolism?

P.S.: To all the haters, I hope you buck up and say something to the next person wearing an American flag as a shirt.

First Steps

Whilst sitting in my room and looking around, I realized something.

I'm a weird kid.

And I'm okay with that.

In fact, I embrace it.

I figured I wanted an outlet to get my thoughts out there.

Keeping diaries is cool and everything, but being a child of the internet era, I find it more likely that I would keep up with something such as a blog.

Also, I want to know what other people think.

Am I the only one?

Here's to the weird kids...

These are my first steps.